Loading ...The big news this week has been the announcement the the Federal government will stand behind Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and essentially step in to bail them out if necessary. This is good news for the jittery housing market and certainly the battered mortgage industry. But coming after the Fed-brokered sale (don’t call it a bail out!) of Bear Stearns, it occurred to me that I am starting to get this capitalism thing. It seems now that capitalism can be boiled down to one simple thought… take risk, and make great money when you succeed, and when you fail, the government bails you out.
I want to be the first to go on record as saying we need a federal Realtor bail out plan. Oh sure, you laugh at first, but Realtors do so much more than sell houses. And with all the trouble in the housing market, Realtors are getting out of the business in record numbers, which is having a huge impact on both our economy and our society. Think of all of the things Realtors contribute:
* We send you all kinds of neat recipes in the mail. Who hasn’t been frantically searching for a desert recipe for a party, when suddenly a card arrives in the mail from a Realtor with recipes like “Peggy’s Apple Pie” or “My Favorite Mint Chip Brownies”.
* We drop off pumpkins at Halloween. Talk about a service to society. Nothing says inadequate parenting like failing to buy pumpkins at Halloween. And with gas at $5 per gallon, it seems silly to waste all that gas with a trip to the store. Problem solved, thanks to us Realtors.
* We put flags out for you on 4th of July. Thanks to us, you don’t have to hassle with putting up a flag. We put thousands of them up for you, and every house in the neighborhood gets a cool mini flag in the front yard.
* We purchase ads on those stupid little dividers at the supermarket check out line. Who else is going to do it? I doubt I’ll see a Bear Stearns ad on one anytime soon.
* We keep you in shape. Sure, you could go for a nice relaxing stroll on a Sunday afternoon, but it is far better for your agility and flexibility to have to dodge open house signs on the sidewalk. And since they are about the right size, you might even consider doing some hurdles while you are at it. It seems annoying now, but you will thank us later. Trust me.
* We keep newspapers in business. If it weren’t for real estate advertising, newspapers would be out of business. Who doesn’t appreciate that cute little ad with the overpriced house, the picture of the Realtor with their dog, and that catchy call to action “This One Won’t Last!” (of course it’s been on the market for 7 months) costs an arm and a leg. Sure, I know the public does not look for homes in the newspaper, but we are team players. 40% of a real estate company’s revenue is a small price to pay to keep these papers alive for the greater good of all.
* We provide free education about real estate to the public. How many times have you been treated to an obnoxious, in-depth conversation about real estate by some Realtor in line at Starbucks or the grocery store. At first you think they are talking to you, but then you see that earpiece with the blue light on it, and you realize they are talking on their cell phone. “Yes, I think house prices are going up. Look at the house on Maple Street. It sold in like 4 months!” or “let’s talk about how we can make this deal for you”. The public would have to pay top dollar for this kind of inside information.
* We fund a large portion of the revenue from traffic tickets. Driving while reading MLS printouts, parking on the wrong side of the street, rolling through stop signs because we are late for our open house… the list goes on. Simply put, without Realtors, your taxes would be higher.
* We give you access to your neighbor’s houses. Be honest here, how many times have you gone to an open house in your neighborhood just out of curiosity? How else are you going to snoop around your neighbor’s home without feeling like a voyeur? We provide you with the perfect excuse to be nosy… almost like a Desperate Housewives home tour service.
* We single handedly keep the Success and Coaching industries in business. I get probably 147 invitations to free seminars each week. Without Realtors, these people would starve, causing a massive ripple effect economically, and more importantly to the nations psyche since lately the only positive news is coming from gurus like Tony Robbins, the guy with the big teeth.
These are just a few of the many benefits that Realtors provide to society, and I for one think the Federal Government should immediately implement a program to prop up the Real estate brokerage industry. Since they like acronyms, we could call it the RAP, or Realtor Assistance Program. As a side benefit, I could finally tell my teenage daughter how much I love RAP.
Popularity: 70% [?]
RSS
Realtors and Capitalism